why all at the same time.?

Well this has been one hell of a summer so far. Im glad that its almost over. Time to go back to Cali and do something different for a while. Life has been throwing me some crazy curveballs here lately though. Things that I didnt think I was ready for somehow I now know I am.

One thing for sure was my dad. I knew he wasnt doing well. Growing up in a small town people always seem to know your business. I knew that he had, had a few heartattacks and that he wasnt doing good. Me being hard headed, I didnt wnat to pick up the phone and make the call. It was his turn this time. He did last friday. I was very upset at frist always assuming the worst. So I went to see him to put aside our differences. Regaurdless of our past I dont want to not be there for him when he needs me.

This has been diffucult to juggle and explain to my mom. O well. I know that I have to do what I need to do to make this better for me.

Im thinking that this maybe my lesson in forgiveness. Its hard to be mad at someone when they cnat change the past. Im taking this as my cue to do what I think is best. I have been sitting and meditating about it. I know i cant be angry cause thats just lost energy.

I know that thru my pratice and meditation all well be fine. Life just has to run its course.

xoxo
AshD